If you believe what you are told about Russia in virtually all the world media at this moment, President Vladimir Putin is an isolated savage fighting a last-ditch battle against the forces of advancing civilization, out¬numbered, out¬gunned and doomed. If Putin — and a handful of his advisors — represent the last of the Mohicans, […]

by John Helmer - Saturday, October 11th, 2003
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MOSCOW – In a well-known Russian anecdote, a police investigator is questioning the son-in-law of an elderly lady who has been found dead. “Why did she die?” the policeman asks. “Because she ate poisoned mushrooms,” the son-in-law replies. “So why is her body covered with bruises?” the policeman asks. “Because she was stupid, and didn’t […]

by John Helmer - Monday, October 6th, 2003
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MOSCOW – The colors of the Russian flag change under pressure. Czar Alexei Mikhailovich, father of Peter the Great, is believed to have been the author of the first white-blue-and-red tricolor in 1668. An English captain, engaged to command the first naval protection vessel in the Russian fleet, asked the czar to choose a flag, […]

by John Helmer - Friday, September 26th, 2003
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La Fontaine told a fable of two donkeys who came to misfortune. The first, the vain one, was carrying a load of cash; the other, a load of oats, On a lonely road, they and their masters were suddenly surrounded by thieves who weren’t interested in the oats. After making off with bearer for dead, […]

by John Helmer - Thursday, September 25th, 2003
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You can always tell when an American politician is well and truly washed up, a has-been. He comes to Russia to meet the tsar so that he can go back to Washington and get the Marine salute at the White House before he divulges the very latest on what the big, bad Russian had to […]

by John Helmer - Thursday, September 11th, 2003
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When Philip Marlowe, the famous fictional American private eye, read the gossip columns of big-city newspapers, he explained that “I don’t read them often, only when I run out of things I dislike.” If Marlowe were able to read the Moscow papers and savor their meretriciousness, he’d never make it off the front page. Take […]

by John Helmer - Tuesday, September 9th, 2003
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When Russians gather to drink, they often offer each other a traditional rhyming toast that can be roughly translated as: “May we have more pies and doughnuts, fewer black eyes and bruises!” It’s a formula that Russia’s most powerful businessmen have been quietly offering the advertising-starved managements of some of the world’s leading newspapers in […]

by John Helmer - Monday, September 1st, 2003
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MOSCOW – There are four men, possibly five, who as former officials of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), know the sordid truth of the IMF’s intervention in the Russian economy, leading up to the decisions the Russian government took on August 17,1998, to cut the rouble loose, default on government debt, and cover the Russian […]

by John Helmer - Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
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MOSCOW – A notable French medical researcher recently conducted an experiment with the drug Viagra on twelve men, who were helicoptered to one of France’s highest peaks. No women were present. As is very well known, Viagra is taken by men who are sexually aroused, but lack an erection for sufficient time to enjoy the […]

by John Helmer - Wednesday, August 20th, 2003
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When two small Russians, each barely 165 centimeters in height, place for-sale advertisements for $3 billion apiece in the Financial Times of London, a tall story is certain to be in the offing — though not much taller than the Mother Goose tales, which are truer than you think. In “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” for example, […]

by John Helmer - Tuesday, August 12th, 2003
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